A Poet's Journal: April 12th, 2013 Part 1

April 12th, 2013 Part 1

I can think of no problem these last few days that does not take all my concern and energy, yet it be no present worry; for it is the intimacy of present concern which is relaxing, though it be ever so troubling.  But I see not in this a resignation to fate, in which case I take for granted every outcome; rather, the amount of time the problem takes is a refuge for importance and the line of action taken, and this is what most consider a job well done.

There are, however, choices which occupy a great part of my time, which to most seem no reason to doubt: I have spent half the morning deciding if and when I should take a shower and half the evening preparing a walk that never comes to focus--for it is simply in this kind of world, about these sort of things, that neither decision matters.  It is, of course, only through true moments of clarity that my personal appearance becomes enjoyable.

We may weigh every option and cede to any fate, but we all search for, and are all overtaken by, clarity--it is of no concern of ours.  With it, we no longer need the outcomes or the solutions, nor with it will any answer please us; on the contrary, everything becomes a waste of time and holds occasion for one moment of relief.

Douglas Thornton